The Battle of Thanksgiving (FanFiction, sort of)

OK, I know I’m a day late, but I didn’t think of it until now.

DISCLAIMER: Tag and Bink belongs to Dark Horse Comics, Star Wars belongs to either Lucasfilm or Disney, probably both, and George Lucas, Spider Man belongs to Marvel and Stan Lee, Wreck-It Ralph belongs to Disney, Sonic the Hedgehog belongs to Sega. This is fair use under Section 107 of the Copyright Act of 1976.

As you might guess from that disclaimer, this will probably be very bizarre…

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11 AM, NOVEMBER 22ND, 2012

Nathan looked back at the building.

“Crap.”

The building was a communications array owned by the Multiversial Defense Force. It had just been overrun by the forces of Sadland, who they were at war with. All forces in the area were in full retreat.

Two particular soldiers were doing it a little faster than the others…
“AHHHHHHH!”

“Hey, Tag?”

“Yeah?”

“Are we being cowards in the face of the enemy?”

“Do you value life?”

“Yes.”

“Then, no.”

11:30 PM

SNOOPY AIR FORCE BASE

“This is a hard decision, but if they control that communications array, they can not only hack into our signals, but also the signals of phone and email conversations across the multiverse! They can attack Happylandian culture itself! I suggest a full nuclear strike.”

The general looked at his men.

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Updates will happen periodically!

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What Happened To The Star Wars That I Used To Know?

This is a parody of “Somebody That I Used To Know”, a popular pop song.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qJlbPXZEpRE

Now I was born in the new Star Wars generation, so the only thing I really have cringes about is Jar Jar, but I still get all the jokes. Is that a sign of Star Wars addiction?

“Yes, Nathan. Yes it is.”

The lyrics:

[DARTH:]
Now and then I think of when I was in power
Like choking people with the Force until they died
But then you told them all my history
And took away my masculinity
And had my character portrayed by subpar actors.

You are now addicted to an overuse of graphics
And making Greedo shoot first? Han shot first.
So when you tried to have the Force make sense
You introduced the midichlorians
And what’s the deal with having me be dubbed over (Noooooooooo!)

But you didn’t have to change it all.
Make ’em like they never happened and the fans are nothing
I don’t even need your love
But you treat me like a Bantha and that feels so rough
No you didn’t have to make them blow
Have your friends direct your movies and they’ll turn out better.
You think that you don’t need them though
What happened to the Star Wars that I used to know

What happened to the Star Wars that I used to know
What happened to the Star Wars that I used to know

[GEORGE LUCAS:]
Now and then I think of all the times I screwed fans over.
I had them believing that the first three films were really done.
But Star Wars will be done my way
I don’t care what you have to say
I think that they should let it go
And they’ll never get the Blu-Ray of the Star Wars that you used to know

[DARTH:]
You didn’t have to change it all.
No more puppets, no more practical effects or nothin’
I don’t even need your love
But you treat me like a wampa and that feels so cold.
No you didn’t have to sell your soul
Do we really need to watch them all again in 3D?
Jar Jar was an all time low
What happened to the Star Wars that I used to know

[x2]
The movies
(I used to know)
The movies
(What happened to the Star Wars that I used to know)

(I used to know)
(That I used to know)
(I used to know)
(That I used to know)

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The original song:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DqRC5tquyU0