A Moment Of Silence



To the families of Newtown, Connecticut.

Our hearts are with you.


Why Pawn Shops Suck

If you’ve watched Pawn Stars, you can probably figure out what a pawn shop is. In case you don’t know, they are basically places were you take old stuff and try to sell it to swindling jerks. There are two basic facts about this:

1.Pawn Stars sucks (search your feelings, you know it to be true).

2.Pawn shops will try to rip you off any way they can.

But here’s the thing: people go there knowing this, but they think, “hey, it’s still money in my pocket.” Guess what, bub. It’s not. You are actually LOSING money when you sell stuff to a pawn shop.

Think about it. What is the total sum of every single thing you own called? Your net worth. Do you own this valuable old thing? I hope so. Is it part of your net worth? Obviously.

So is this coming off your net worth?

What do you think, bub?

Some people go in there to buy stuff. Well, if they ripped the seller off, don’t you think they’re going to rip the buyer off, too?

People, if you have something old and valuable to sell, just use Ebay or a garage sale. If you want to buy old stuff, go to an antique shop or someone else’s garage sale. Believe me, it’s way better.

The Battle of Thanksgiving (FanFiction, sort of)

OK, I know I’m a day late, but I didn’t think of it until now.

DISCLAIMER: Tag and Bink belongs to Dark Horse Comics, Star Wars belongs to either Lucasfilm or Disney, probably both, and George Lucas, Spider Man belongs to Marvel and Stan Lee, Wreck-It Ralph belongs to Disney, Sonic the Hedgehog belongs to Sega. This is fair use under Section 107 of the Copyright Act of 1976.

As you might guess from that disclaimer, this will probably be very bizarre…


11 AM, NOVEMBER 22ND, 2012

Nathan looked back at the building.


The building was a communications array owned by the Multiversial Defense Force. It had just been overrun by the forces of Sadland, who they were at war with. All forces in the area were in full retreat.

Two particular soldiers were doing it a little faster than the others…

“Hey, Tag?”


“Are we being cowards in the face of the enemy?”

“Do you value life?”


“Then, no.”

11:30 PM


“This is a hard decision, but if they control that communications array, they can not only hack into our signals, but also the signals of phone and email conversations across the multiverse! They can attack Happylandian culture itself! I suggest a full nuclear strike.”

The general looked at his men.


Updates will happen periodically!

On The Presidential Debate

I am into politics. WAY. TOO. MUCH. So, naturally, I watched the presidential debate last night. Like, actually sat through it, eating only peanut butter and crackers. And, unlike most of the internet, I say Obama won.

Romney wouldn’t listen to the moderator, and just babbled on and on and on… and, in case nobody noticed, he went over two minutes several times. Obama only went over once. ONCE is the key word here. Obama was also more professional, and, in extension, presidential.

Body language also counts here. Although Obama did, indeed, look down a lot during Romey’s talking, he actually smiled when Romney talked. Romney’s face got redder and redder the more he disagreed with Obama.

And, you don’t cut funding for PBS. EVER. He just lost a lot of his voter base.

And one more thing. Is my family the only ones who noticed that weird little thing on Romney’s flag pin?

See it?

What Happened To The Star Wars That I Used To Know?

This is a parody of “Somebody That I Used To Know”, a popular pop song.


Now I was born in the new Star Wars generation, so the only thing I really have cringes about is Jar Jar, but I still get all the jokes. Is that a sign of Star Wars addiction?

“Yes, Nathan. Yes it is.”

The lyrics:

Now and then I think of when I was in power
Like choking people with the Force until they died
But then you told them all my history
And took away my masculinity
And had my character portrayed by subpar actors.

You are now addicted to an overuse of graphics
And making Greedo shoot first? Han shot first.
So when you tried to have the Force make sense
You introduced the midichlorians
And what’s the deal with having me be dubbed over (Noooooooooo!)

But you didn’t have to change it all.
Make ’em like they never happened and the fans are nothing
I don’t even need your love
But you treat me like a Bantha and that feels so rough
No you didn’t have to make them blow
Have your friends direct your movies and they’ll turn out better.
You think that you don’t need them though
What happened to the Star Wars that I used to know

What happened to the Star Wars that I used to know
What happened to the Star Wars that I used to know

Now and then I think of all the times I screwed fans over.
I had them believing that the first three films were really done.
But Star Wars will be done my way
I don’t care what you have to say
I think that they should let it go
And they’ll never get the Blu-Ray of the Star Wars that you used to know

You didn’t have to change it all.
No more puppets, no more practical effects or nothin’
I don’t even need your love
But you treat me like a wampa and that feels so cold.
No you didn’t have to sell your soul
Do we really need to watch them all again in 3D?
Jar Jar was an all time low
What happened to the Star Wars that I used to know

The movies
(I used to know)
The movies
(What happened to the Star Wars that I used to know)

(I used to know)
(That I used to know)
(I used to know)
(That I used to know)


The original song:


World Scheduled to Run Out Of Bandwidth by 2014


Like I needed doom-and-gloom in my day.

No bandwidth means no internet. Simple as that. We need a solution, and fast. Unfortunately, all the ideas right now are just theoretical. Either that, or just plain authoritarian and short-term. I don’t really know what to do, but I need my internet. What do you, my few readers, think we should do?

This looks appealing right now…

Roominate-or “Capitalism Working”

Yesterday, my mom found this:


For those too lazy too click the link:

Apparently, only 15% of female first-year college students intend to major in STEM (Science, Technology, Engineering, and Math). (and yes, I copy-pasted that) Somebody made the theory that this is because girls toys are predominantly based on dolls and princesses. (it took them, like, what, 10 years to figure this out?) So, they came up with “Roominate”, a new girls toy that makes the girl “an artist, an engineer, an architect, and a visionary”.

No, this is not prebuilt.

It works like this: you give your daughter the toy. And then, they build their own, customizable, miniature rooms. With electronics. Not kidding.

Now, this is were the American way really kicks in. You see, the people who came up with this already have some working prototypes. So, they gave it to Kickstarter, who is probably going to bid it at a few auctions, sell it to Hasbro and Mattel,  and let capitalism do the rest. They’ve already raised $85,964 and counting from “pledges” were you donate and receive a couple thousand kits for your company to sell.

Basically, capitalism working exactly the way it should.

Now, this is how capitalism should work. This is exactly the kind of innovation that capitalists talk about. Why doesn’t it always work out like this? It should.

Follow Roominate!

Sick Today

I randomly got a cold. It’s nothing serious, but it sure is annoying.

I. Hate. Sneezing. So there.

Now, I know what some of you are saying. “Quit whining and have some chicken soup!” But this is coming from a guy that:

1.Has a nearly infallible immune system. This is the first time I’ve had a cold in a couple years.

2.Hates chicken soup. In fact, unless it’s a chicken nugget, I hate chicken.

3.Is extremely whiny. I tend to complain about every little problem in the world.

4.Is somewhat  paranoid. “Do I have the flu? Some new, incurable disease?” (great, now I’m also annoyed at myself)

So, please bear with me. I’m going to have a long day, and I’m complaining about it on my blog. So there. End post. You may continue your day.

First Comment!

I didn’t know that I would ever get a comment. It’s awesome. Somebody commented on “Top 5 Best Strategy Games That Iv’e Played” and it was amazingly cool. How are people finding me? Somebody tell me!

Also, 6 people in Italy are reading. The Italians are cool.