What Happened To The Star Wars That I Used To Know?

This is a parody of “Somebody That I Used To Know”, a popular pop song.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qJlbPXZEpRE

Now I was born in the new Star Wars generation, so the only thing I really have cringes about is Jar Jar, but I still get all the jokes. Is that a sign of Star Wars addiction?

“Yes, Nathan. Yes it is.”

The lyrics:

[DARTH:]
Now and then I think of when I was in power
Like choking people with the Force until they died
But then you told them all my history
And took away my masculinity
And had my character portrayed by subpar actors.

You are now addicted to an overuse of graphics
And making Greedo shoot first? Han shot first.
So when you tried to have the Force make sense
You introduced the midichlorians
And what’s the deal with having me be dubbed over (Noooooooooo!)

But you didn’t have to change it all.
Make ’em like they never happened and the fans are nothing
I don’t even need your love
But you treat me like a Bantha and that feels so rough
No you didn’t have to make them blow
Have your friends direct your movies and they’ll turn out better.
You think that you don’t need them though
What happened to the Star Wars that I used to know

What happened to the Star Wars that I used to know
What happened to the Star Wars that I used to know

[GEORGE LUCAS:]
Now and then I think of all the times I screwed fans over.
I had them believing that the first three films were really done.
But Star Wars will be done my way
I don’t care what you have to say
I think that they should let it go
And they’ll never get the Blu-Ray of the Star Wars that you used to know

[DARTH:]
You didn’t have to change it all.
No more puppets, no more practical effects or nothin’
I don’t even need your love
But you treat me like a wampa and that feels so cold.
No you didn’t have to sell your soul
Do we really need to watch them all again in 3D?
Jar Jar was an all time low
What happened to the Star Wars that I used to know

[x2]
The movies
(I used to know)
The movies
(What happened to the Star Wars that I used to know)

(I used to know)
(That I used to know)
(I used to know)
(That I used to know)

==================================================================================

The original song:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DqRC5tquyU0

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World Scheduled to Run Out Of Bandwidth by 2014

http://penny-arcade.com/patv/episode/spectrum-crunch

Like I needed doom-and-gloom in my day.

No bandwidth means no internet. Simple as that. We need a solution, and fast. Unfortunately, all the ideas right now are just theoretical. Either that, or just plain authoritarian and short-term. I don’t really know what to do, but I need my internet. What do you, my few readers, think we should do?

This looks appealing right now…

Roominate-or “Capitalism Working”

Yesterday, my mom found this:

http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/369073015/roominate-make-it-yours

For those too lazy too click the link:

Apparently, only 15% of female first-year college students intend to major in STEM (Science, Technology, Engineering, and Math). (and yes, I copy-pasted that) Somebody made the theory that this is because girls toys are predominantly based on dolls and princesses. (it took them, like, what, 10 years to figure this out?) So, they came up with “Roominate”, a new girls toy that makes the girl “an artist, an engineer, an architect, and a visionary”.

No, this is not prebuilt.

It works like this: you give your daughter the toy. And then, they build their own, customizable, miniature rooms. With electronics. Not kidding.

Now, this is were the American way really kicks in. You see, the people who came up with this already have some working prototypes. So, they gave it to Kickstarter, who is probably going to bid it at a few auctions, sell it to Hasbro and Mattel,  and let capitalism do the rest. They’ve already raised $85,964 and counting from “pledges” were you donate and receive a couple thousand kits for your company to sell.

Basically, capitalism working exactly the way it should.

Now, this is how capitalism should work. This is exactly the kind of innovation that capitalists talk about. Why doesn’t it always work out like this? It should.

Follow Roominate!

Sick Today

I randomly got a cold. It’s nothing serious, but it sure is annoying.

I. Hate. Sneezing. So there.

Now, I know what some of you are saying. “Quit whining and have some chicken soup!” But this is coming from a guy that:

1.Has a nearly infallible immune system. This is the first time I’ve had a cold in a couple years.

2.Hates chicken soup. In fact, unless it’s a chicken nugget, I hate chicken.

3.Is extremely whiny. I tend to complain about every little problem in the world.

4.Is somewhat  paranoid. “Do I have the flu? Some new, incurable disease?” (great, now I’m also annoyed at myself)

So, please bear with me. I’m going to have a long day, and I’m complaining about it on my blog. So there. End post. You may continue your day.

First Comment!

I didn’t know that I would ever get a comment. It’s awesome. Somebody commented on “Top 5 Best Strategy Games That Iv’e Played” and it was amazingly cool. How are people finding me? Somebody tell me!

Also, 6 people in Italy are reading. The Italians are cool.

NationStates Review

Following new legislation in Felix Terra, the nation is ravaged by daily union strikes.

Gee, all I did was give in to union demands…

For a while now, I’ve been spending most of my time with NationStates, a free, in-browser, text-based political simulator. This is how it works: you set up a nation, with your motto, national animal, currency, etc. Then you respond to “issues” once or twice every day. You then watch as your political, economic and civil freedoms unfold.

Now, this probably sounds like the most boring game in the world. And if it was just the issues, it would be. But it’s not. Although there’s no formal war or diplomacy mechanic, there is a forum where the users have created their own. Basically, you get on the forums and talk war, peace, riots, oil, water, the environment-all the fun things of geopolitics. Unless you don’t like forums, this is were you will spend most of your time.

Again, this isn’t a very detailed game, unless you’re a fan of forums, but I enjoy this game a lot. 9/10.

My flag. It even waves.

While your here, I guess I’m obliged to promote my region, 10000 Islands. Very friendly community, no chance of invasion(see the FAQ of the site), has an offline forum(which I haven’t joined… yet) and is generally a nice region. Check it out if you join.

Now, back to utopia building…

Top 5 Best Strategy Games That I’ve Played

In my humble opinion, these games are just awesome.

#5: Medieval II: Total War

I got this game recently, and I think it’s really cool. Then again, medieval warfare is inherently cool, so that’s a plus. But besides that, it has beautiful graphics, a great interface, amazing scale and… *Gasp*… It actually makes you think.

So why isn’t it higher?

Because I haven’t played it enough. I can’t really call something I haven’t played much, but I do put it at number 5.

I would hate to see THIS outside my walls.

#4: Star Wars: Empire at War

You’ve probably guessed that I’m a huge Star Wars geek. My first Star Wars was Episode II, at a hospital. I waved around a toothpick like it was a lightsaber, and my parents knew I was a born fan. So naturally, I wanted this game immediately.

This is THE Star Wars RTS if your a Star Wars fan. With everything but the kitchen sink to have X-Wings blow to smithereens, I loved playing with all the cool toys. The cinematic camera option just tops it off, and it’s cool in itself. And I really liked the Death Star. Blowing up planets is just so fun… 😈

All in all, enough cool to put it at number 4.

If you do not think this is cool, you do not know the meaning of cool.

#3: Total Annihilation

I’m not sure if this was my first strategy game, but it’s certainty very, very close. I thought about putting Supreme Ruler 2020 here, but Total Annihilation really outclasses it, in my opinion. Why? For me, it really set the bar for all strategy games. If it is as good-or better-than Total Annihilation, it undoubtedly succeeds. If not, it inevitably fails, only to be messed around with ounce in a while when I’m bored.

Setting a quality check alone is enough for me to put it at number 3.

I used to love starting forest fires.

#2: Civilization IV

If I didn’t like this game, would I be doing a lets play? Civ 4 is the best turn-based strategy game, like, ever. I’m not a huge fan of board games, but Civ 4 is is far better than Scrabble or Monopoly. Civ is  exciting, something that physical board games cannot match. Plus, it makes nuclear warfare sound appealing. That takes talent.

Excitement level puts Civilization IV at number 2.

Sign that I’m sick #672: I like doing this to all the other civilizations.

And now, number 1. Drumroll please…

#1: Rise of Nations

 This game is pure awesome. You cannot call yourself a true strategy fan until you’ve played Rise of Nations. Because, really, what other game lets you experience all of history, in RTS form? With so much content, it is infinitely replayable. And the Conquer the World campaign, which I think is supposed to be the main game mode, is amazing. So, Rise of Nations, the best strategy game ever, holds top title.

Yes, this game is as awesome as it looks.

But wait… don’t go away. there’s one more game, a game that must be mentioned for my list to be truly complete…

#0: Star Wars: Galactic Battlegrounds

This is my other contender for prize of my first strategy game. I loved it. It was my favorite game. If I didn’t like strategy games before then, I did now. Who cared about the retro graphics? Who cared about the impossible late-game scenarios? I loved it. And I still do, even now. What a game.

Oh, and then there’s Simon the Killer Ewok. Pure cool.

Simon has found you, Darth Vader. Run as fast as you can.

I will eventually do a lets play of all of these games. Why? Because they are all awesome.

 

 

Strawberry Festival

Just came home from the Strawberry Festival. Every year, it rains.

Guess what happened this year?

WHY IS THIS HAPPENING?!?!

We didn’t even get to ride the rides this year. At one point, I got so bored that I pondered the relationship between Lady Liberty and Lady Justice.

I couldn’t even find a good picture.

I guess I shouldn’t complain. After all, I DID get a huge container of french fries and some world famous strawberry shortcake. Oh, and a free bowling game. That was pretty cool.

“Hey, check out my technique!”

If you’ll excuse me, I need to make up  for the bummer day by net surfing and playing computer games.